It’s been awhile since I’ve sat down to write something. Max has been testing the limits of my patience on a daily basis. One could argue that its the terrible 2s/3s, on the other hand people have been saying its middle child syndrome. Whatever it is, its tiring. I wake up in the morning with all good intentions to try and be patient and understanding with him. By the 5th time he has thrown a tantrum, all good intentions have flown out the window. He is being openly defiant and at times, rude. Nap and bedtimes have become a battle as well. I really wish he could express his feelings , or better yet, if I could read his mind. I know he wants to spend time with me and I’m trying, even for a couple of minutes each day. Our bedtime routine hasn’t changed, I have held firm with that. He fights his sleep nearly every night even though he is so tired. I’m more worried that he’s not getting enough sleep than anything else.
On days where he is once again my sweet little boy, we have a great time together. Other days I feel like he has morphed into this little monster whom I have no idea how to deal with. I thought it was just me but even my mom has commented that she finds him difficult to deal with at times. And that’s saying a lot cos grandma is a lot more patient than I am.
When I’ve had a particularly bad day with Max, I’m racked with mommy guilt. I feel bad that I’ve yelled at him, that I haven’t spent enough time with him..etc. I hope he knows I’m trying my very best.