I found an interesting article this morning, the author talks about “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior”
As I read the article, I cringed when the author shares how she raises her two daughters. They are not allowed to have sleepovers, get any grades less than an A, watch Tv or play computer games…. and the list goes on.
She states that western parents care too much about a child’s feelings and individuality and therefore they do not dare to demand perfection from their children.
Her two daughters may have turned out alright under her iron rod but I shudder to think the numerous children who have had their spirits and self esteem crushed by parents who simply demand too much too soon.
The author doesn’t see her two daughters as two individuals, to her, everything can be achieved as long as one works hard and long enough at it. I tend to disagree cos I like to think the journey to achievement is as important as the result itself.
I don’t see myself as a totally “western’ parent either. While I respect the children’s individuality, I demand a certain standard of behavior and respect from them. Rudeness and bad manners are never tolerated but neither do I believe in shaming them by calling them “garbage” either.
Matt and I do rank academic achievements as our no. 1 priority, instead we choose to steer the children towards sports as we personally believe that it builds discipline and character. Sports allow my kids to release their energy in a positive and healthy way. They learn how to share, how to accept defeat and be a gracious person.
At the end of the day, both extremes can’t be good for a child. Mollycoddling them isn’t going to be beneficial in the long run and neither will shaming them. There needs to be an equal balance of both to raise happy, confident kids.